Saturday, January 4, 2014

Happy New Year;))) Taylor is almost 19 Months old and 16 Months without Brady!

1/4/2014- A New Year, A New Day, The New Us!!!!

I have been trying to blog for several weeks now, but for some reason it has been so hard!! So here goes.

I want to begin by wishing everyone a Happy New year!

Taylor is growing up so fast, she will be 19 months old in a week and I am not sure where the time has gone. She is running and playing like a big girl, she is talking unbelievably: Her favorite lines are "Unn get down", " Yone go bye-bye", "Go Nite-Nite"", "Eat-Eat"," Hi-Da-da", "Bye Da-Da" " More-More-More (with sign language), " Agua-Agua " if no response with giving her a cup of water, then she proceeds with "Water-Water", " Baby-Nite-Nite", "Hi-Hi or Hi errbody" as she waves with a pageant wave to everyone and I mean everyone" the other sentences are to be determined;))) She talks all day long and I love it. This kid does not know a stranger and she makes it her business to greet everyone around her with a smile /wave/ Hi;) She loves food, and she only wants big girl food on a big girl plate , and might I add she only wants a big girl cup these days- no need for a sippy cup (she thinks);)))  She absolutely loves kids of all ages, but she especially loves babies and will do anything to get close to any baby around. She rocks/feeds/kisses and strollers her babies all day, except for when she takes a break to cook us a meal in her kitchen (while she says over and over-cook-cook-cook and periodically taste what she is cooking and says YUMMMMM!!!) I love this girl, she is amazing and thank God for her everyday!!! She has truly saved me!!!! Taylor Reese you are my saving Grace and one day I will tell you all about it!!!! But I can't help but believe we are seeing Brady Shine through her everyday!!!!

As for Brady, of course I miss him more than ever!!! The pain is not any better, I am just learning better how to live with it.  But Brady is just as amazing as Taylor and this holiday season more than proved that to me!! He is continuing to touch lives, change practices, and move mountains. Both of my babies have touched so many and that was apparent by seeing our community come together and donate in their honor to the March of Dimes a whopping $8600 in less than 3months. That speaks volumes and I believe that Brady is continuing his work hear from a far and I know that will continue!!!

Not sure why, but I have really been having  a hard time recently. I have been to his grave site more recently than ever, while I know he is not physically there I feel that desire and need to go and be with him. I want to hold him, smell him, feed him, bathe him, etc......... I know I will again someday!!!  I have joined an incredible group-The Compassionate Friends group and we meet in Griffin once a month and that has really helped b/c it is all parents of deceased children, so we all know and understand. I know that feelings will surface time to time and I know that living with this is the new us, and I am just slowly continuing to adjust to living this new normal. I am praying for increased closure in 2014 for some anger that I have held onto in the loss of my precious Brady. God as my leader has continued to show me the way in my healing.  I love you dearly my precious Brady and I know that you are just as beautiful as your precious twin sister, I can only imagine how precious you are and I can imagine your glow!!! We will continue to speak of you and speak to you so that your sister knows just how special you are!! WE LOVE YOU BUDDY AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!!

Love, Mommy, Daddy, and Taylor