11/8/12- What do I do with these emotions????? So So Happy and Sad all at once!!!!
Well I am watching my beautiful little girl change everyday, She is rolling over persisently now (this started on 11/2/12), she is moving all around by pushing with her feet, she has a beautiful smile, and she is growing like a weed- a whopping 10 lbs 11 oz at almost 5 months. Wow I can't believe my little 2 lb. miracle will be 5 months old in 4 days!! Where has time gone. We are so incredibly proud of her and we tell her that everyday. But, I have to admit that it is so hard because I always wonder what Brady would be doing, who would be the ring leader? I imagine that Brady would have been my laid back baby and Taylor my spit fire!! Who knows???? I will never know, well actually I will when we all meet again!!! My heart breaks everytime Taylor does something new, because I wonder if Brady would have learned or started doing the same thing.
This is gonna sound silly, but Taylor found her mouth and nose this weekend, and she kept hitting herself in the nose over and over again and then putting her whole hand in her mouth- I was staring at her imagining that I was watching Brady do the same thing!!! I guess I will forever Miss and Think about and visualize his beautiful face!!! I love my sweet Boy!!!! And oh boy do I love that precious little girl that we call Tator Bug-she is my ROCK!!!
11/4/12- Well I am so proud of my little family!!! I am not ashamed to admit that Brady's tiny soul did powerful things in mine and my husbands life, that noone else could do. Although we were believers and christians we needed more. We learned who our leader is. We learned that we are not in control, and that we need God in our lives to guide us and comfort us when decisions are to be made and when the whole world feels like it is crumbling under you. Brady led us to a wonderful decision as we had our family baptism and Taylor's dedication-What an awesome day!!!!
"A dear friend/my best friend provided me with so much comfort and stood by me in my decision making process when Brady was so ill, she reassured me time again and also provided her whole hearted opinion which made my decision even more concrete" Well it was not by mistake that God put her in my life to comfort and support me during that time, but I truly believe that he was strengthening her for a decision that she and her precious husband would have to unfortunately have to make all to soon after. I pray diligently for my precious friend/husband/ and their precious baby as the days and weeks draw her closer to the day when another incredibly difficult decision will be made. I love you girl!!!!! It is not by chance that we are friends and that we know what eachother are feeling and that we are here to guide and strengthen one another. God is no fool, he knew what he was doing 14 years ago when we came into eachother's lives. I love you and support any/all decisions!!!!
I pray that each day I will heal a little bit more, but I know one thing for sure- Brady is living one heck of a life and he is watching over his beautiful sister and making sure she pulls me and daddy through everyday!!!!
