Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Heaven 💙💙💙💙
6/19/18
Here visiting by myself today which has only happened twice in almost 6 years......it’s so quiet and calm and talking out loud when no one else is there seems okay. It’s not sad it’s just hard to explain!! This is when you just try and remember did I kiss Him enough for a lifetime? Did I hold him tight enough? Did I tell him I love him enough? And the list goes on.........Yes I did is the answer but I still wonder sometimes!!!!
This season is bringing a lot of question and thoughts for Taylor.......
Mommy did you lay Brady down in the ground, were you holding him?
What did you put him in? (I told her a beautiful white and blue casket)
Mommy what is a casket? (Unable to answer right away due to fighting back tears, she so gracefully spoke for me answering her own question-“oh it’s a basket mommy”) Yes a basket:)
The latest question, Mommy so how is Brady In heaven if he is under the ground? I did my very best to explain this to my sweet girl!!
The seasons change and time gets sweeter, Taylor is figuring it all out- she really wants to know if Brady is still a baby or if he is Big Like Her❤️
So proud of her and the Amazing little girl she is, one day she will truly understand that she has been the rock for Justin and I.
I smile writing this because, our little family has grown in ways I never imagined possible in the past 6 years❤️😍❤️😍❤️
Monday, February 12, 2018
Time is Flying by......
2/12/18-
I thought I would drop a few notes since it has been a while since I sat down to write. Another great year has gone by. 5 1/2 Years in on this Journey of ours with our precious girl! Everyday we look in awe as we acknowledge just how lucky we are to have this 5 1/2 yr old, 46lb, amazing little Kindergartener looking back at us. She is and has been a little spit fire from day#1, and I am not sure I am ready for her determination as she gets older, LOL.
Well as we imagined the time would come that she really started to process the true understanding that Brady will never come back. She has always referenced Brady, and always stated his living with Jesus ;) But daily she inquires about Why he lives with Jesus, When will he come back, Why won't he come back, When will be go to live with him, and the list goes on. Lately everything we do, she says I know Brady would love this board game, Lets pick a book for Brady, No mommy we don't have 3 people in our family we have 4, lets sign Brady's name on the card, and that list goes on and on too. IT's HARD!!!!! But we just embrace it and do our best to make it all make sense. It is not sad conversation, so we just keep it very positive and let her inquisitive mind work.
One thing we have really noticed with her is that she really truly does have this uniqueness about her to me that is an indication that she was truly supposed to have a play mate. Her independent play is unbelievable and her energy in doing so is unreal. She has the gentle/soft/sweet side but the energy of a boy, and we feel that this is because she was supposed to have Brady to rally with. Well She is for sure living life for both of them.
While I would give anything to keep her 5 forever, I know that the years to come are going to be better than ever. And as for now She is on the count down to Turning "6", and the girl can't wait. ONLY 4 1/2 more months baby girl;))))
From 2lb 5oz 28 weeker to 46lb 5 year old.........She is my HERO and together we love and Miss Brady everyday!!!!!
I thought I would drop a few notes since it has been a while since I sat down to write. Another great year has gone by. 5 1/2 Years in on this Journey of ours with our precious girl! Everyday we look in awe as we acknowledge just how lucky we are to have this 5 1/2 yr old, 46lb, amazing little Kindergartener looking back at us. She is and has been a little spit fire from day#1, and I am not sure I am ready for her determination as she gets older, LOL.
Well as we imagined the time would come that she really started to process the true understanding that Brady will never come back. She has always referenced Brady, and always stated his living with Jesus ;) But daily she inquires about Why he lives with Jesus, When will he come back, Why won't he come back, When will be go to live with him, and the list goes on. Lately everything we do, she says I know Brady would love this board game, Lets pick a book for Brady, No mommy we don't have 3 people in our family we have 4, lets sign Brady's name on the card, and that list goes on and on too. IT's HARD!!!!! But we just embrace it and do our best to make it all make sense. It is not sad conversation, so we just keep it very positive and let her inquisitive mind work.
One thing we have really noticed with her is that she really truly does have this uniqueness about her to me that is an indication that she was truly supposed to have a play mate. Her independent play is unbelievable and her energy in doing so is unreal. She has the gentle/soft/sweet side but the energy of a boy, and we feel that this is because she was supposed to have Brady to rally with. Well She is for sure living life for both of them.
While I would give anything to keep her 5 forever, I know that the years to come are going to be better than ever. And as for now She is on the count down to Turning "6", and the girl can't wait. ONLY 4 1/2 more months baby girl;))))
From 2lb 5oz 28 weeker to 46lb 5 year old.........She is my HERO and together we love and Miss Brady everyday!!!!!
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