6 months ago today.......

12/12/12......

I can't believe that it has been 6 months since my life changed in an instance, I refer to it as the best, worst, and scariest day of my life!!!!  On this very day back in June, my precious babies decided to join us 12 weeks early, but what do you do, you join them and welcome them with open arms and you stand by them and encourage them as they fight for their little precious lives and that they both did with all of their might!!! How did I grow such strong little fighters with such a will to live?????? Well, I guess I should be able to answer that b/c their momma and daddy are two strong willed people who love life and live it to the fullest!!! I never imagined that being proud of your children could feel so great, but I quickly learned that there is nothing like it!!! I have also unfortunately learned what heartbreak truly feels like, but with gods hand and the power of prayer I have been able to stand on solid ground and move forward!!!

"It's the most wonderful time of the year"- oh yes it is, but it is oh so HARD!!!! Taylor's first Thanksgiving and her First Christmas and her First New Years, but what about my sweet Brady it is his first toooooo!!!!!! So many FIRST without him, but I can't lose sight of how important all of Taylor's FIRST are as well ( I haven't I have enjoyed them to the fullest)!!!  There are just so many reminders of him not being here, his first ornaments on the tree, his stocking on the mantle, and the hardest is not being able to buy him toys/clothes/activity gyms etc, I have to buy him a christmas tree for his grave site and a headstone- That hurts so bad, but you better believe I got him all fixed up out there and you can see him all lit up as soon as you pull in ;) But, But, But I am so incredibly greatful for my beautiful precious smiling little girl who I get to wake up with on Christmas morning and begin traditions with!!!! And we will always remember Brady and honor him and make sure that he is a part of Taylor's life forever and ever and ever!!!!

I say a prayer every night for Brady to come visit me in my dreams, I haven't seen him yet but my sister has and she said he is so beautiful, with a full head of black hair, blue eyes and rosey pink cheeks! She said he looks just like his daddy!!! Oh, I can't wait to see his precious face, so I will continue to pray!! But he and I will for sure meet again!!!

As each day comes and goes, I am going to continue to live my life the way that Brady has taught me to, and that is ... To live like there is no tomorrow, Don't sweat the small stuff, Love my baby and my family no matter what the case may be!!!! I will never be the old Brandy, but I am ok with that b/c although I was a good person before the new me looks at life very differently and I love it!!! I hope I never forget what this past 6 months has taught me!!!!

My New Years Resolution is to make a difference and I am working very hard behind the scenes to ensure that happens!!!!

I love you both dearly Taylor Reese and Brady Wiles!!!!  Happy 6 month Birthday!!!

Love, Momma and Daddy